Ethical non-monogamy is a small but rapidly growing scene in Spain, concentrated overwhelmingly in Madrid, Barcelona and — increasingly — Valencia. Feeld leads the app market for ENM and poly daters, with visible communities in all three cities. OkCupid remains a useful secondary platform thanks to its detailed relationship-orientation filters. Almost every other mainstream app either ignores the category or actively penalises profiles that mention it.
Offline, the two most important communities are the polyamory meetup groups that gather monthly in La Latina and Malasaña in Madrid and around Gràcia and Sant Antoni in Barcelona. These are not hookup events; they are discussion, book club and social meetups that welcome newcomers and treat questions patiently. Attending one before you start dating within the community is the single best move you can make.
Practically, three things matter more than any of the theory. First, radical honesty from your very first message — hiding non-monogamy in your bio in order to get more matches burns everyone involved. Second, read Polysecure by Jessica Fern before your first serious ENM relationship in Spain. It is by some distance the most useful book in the field. Third, learn the Spanish vocabulary: pareja abierta, poliamor, anarquía relacional, metamor. Fluency in the terms saves hours of confusion.
The scene is welcoming, warm and small. Treat it accordingly: gossip travels fast, and reputations for kindness or unreliability build within months, not years.
"A growing community, a small app landscape, and how to navigate both."
Written by the Best Dating Spain editorial team and reviewed before publication by a relationship coach based in Madrid. We test every app ourselves and never accept sponsored placements.